Monkeyism

June 29, 2006

Here’s a little theology I developed when I was about 17. When you’re finished reading it you’ll probably agree I created this theology when I was…17.

Ever wonder if evolution and creation co-existed? Well I actually hold this theory to some extent but for today’s topic of “Monkeyism” I’m going to take the coexistence of evolution & creation to the n-th degree.

Let say man has evolved from monkey. Maybe Adam and Eve were monkeys with human intelligence. A breed of super monkeys if you will. Anyways after the fall of man (Adam & Eve sinning in the garden) super monkeys evolved into humans as we know today.

Take in to account Genesis 1:27 “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him (Adam)”.

If that’s the case then doesn’t that make God a monkey? If in my will I want to be buried with a handful of bananas you’ll know why :)

June 29, 2006 | Filed Under Randomness

Comments

18 Responses to “Monkeyism”

  1. powerbroker on June 29th, 2006 12:54 pm

    Admit that you know nothing and death won’t seem so scary.

  2. Gary G on June 29th, 2006 3:13 pm

    Hey Powerbroker, how about admitting that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the light (just like the Bible says)and then you’ll have eternal life through him. Death isn’t scary for me because I know he is waiting for me when I die. I suggest you accept him as your one lord and savior. It will be the greatest thing you ever do. I’ll pray for you.

  3. powerbroker on June 30th, 2006 8:32 am

    Hey Gary G,

    Thanks for the prayer. The only thing waiting for you when death comes is a whole lot of worms and yucky things wiggling through your body and feasting on your flesh.

    Religion is the worst thing that ever happened to mankind.

  4. Gary G on June 30th, 2006 9:27 am

    Powerbroker-
    I’m sorry you feel that way. I’ll agree that certain religions are prone to violence and injustice, but with Chritianity, Jesus made it very clear that if you follow him, you’ll find peace. Christians are the ones who help the sick and poor. Christians are the ones fighting for peace. I don’t see a lot of Atheist aid organizations out there. I’ll bet if you go to any Christian church on Sunday, you will be welcomed with open arms. What have you got to lose?

  5. TheChubbyConservative on July 12th, 2006 3:41 pm

    Gary G, it is no use talking religion with someone like powerbroker because he has all the answers. The Devil loves to feed on intellectuals…they’re souls taste like CHICKEN! Jesus died for your sins, powerbroker…the least you could do is not openly admonish him. Keep your heracy to yourself, *edit*

  6. Lis on July 12th, 2006 4:02 pm

    Chubby you just found yourself in the dog house. Please do not call other people names here.

    There is NO tolerance for Christians that lack compassion. I’m glad Powerbroker and others with different opinions frequent this site. Let’s talk about issues in a loving compassionate way. No free thinking individual investigates Christianity because they were insulted. I have yet heard one testimony saying “I was insulted into the kingdom”.

    A few people here are seriously becoming close to the woman I posted about “You give God a bad name”.

    As pointless as I think liberalism is I try to embrace liberals as Jesus would embrace them or me.

  7. Gary G on July 13th, 2006 8:34 am

    Lis- I don’t know if its fair to compare Chubby to people like her. Of course, I didn’t see what he or she originally wrote, so I could be wrong. Sometimes I think we as Christians give in too easily. Obviously I would never do anything like the people in that video. I support our troops all the way. By the way, have you read “Godless” yet by Coulter? Pretty accurate account of what we’re up against.

  8. TheChubbyConservative on July 13th, 2006 9:50 am

    From time to time, the best of us make a mistake. I wouldn’t be a good Christian if I couldn’t admit when I made a mistake. However, godless retorick makes my blood boil. For someone that made the ultimate sacrifice to all humanity, Jesus Christ sure takes a lot of flack from people, and I think it’s wrong for the love of Molly. If I offended, I do whole-heartedly apologize to powerbroker (your pants are NOT fancy). I need to be reminded to love my neighbor as I would expect them to love me from time to time. Looks like I’ve got a Novena or two to do tonight. My bad!

  9. Lis on July 13th, 2006 10:16 am

    Gary,
    I don’t think Cubby (or you) are in the same category as that whack job woman in the video. I’m just saying we have to be careful to include compassion when rebuking. I think J-Dub pointed out Jesus over turning the tables in the temple was directed at other believers. That was a great point. Jesus never acted abrasive to others. In fact He went out of His way to befriend prostitutes. And if you notice Jesus never came right out and rebuked them. It was only after He gained their trust/friendship.

    Cubby,
    Thanks for what I feel is an authentic apology I hope Powerbroker feels the same way. I never heard of the word “Novena“ before. According to Wikipedia it’s a Catholic term. Can you explain it further so I have a better understanding?

  10. TheChubbyConservative on July 13th, 2006 11:49 am

    A Novena is a full cycle of the Holy Rosary. See, you learn something new every day!

  11. powerbroker on July 13th, 2006 1:31 pm

    To Site Master Lis, thank you for putting hypocrites like Chubby and Gary G in their place.

    I would love to know what kinds of charitable acts they do or how they reach out.

    For the record: the earth is billions of years old and God is dead. Your God (christ) has been created to make money for other people. The church has always been a business and the sooner you learn that the sooner you can move forward.

    If you think I’m wrong or lying then answer this: When has Christianity ever stopped a war or solved a problem?

    FYI: The only god I worship is the God of Money.

  12. Gary G on July 13th, 2006 1:44 pm

    Guys, people like powerbroker were put here to test our faith. He has no right to question my charity. I donate a lot of money to the Republican party both locally and nationally to ensure our way of life is protected from people like him. In addition I picket abortion clinics now and then. It is not Christian sthat are starting these wars. It is other religions. We are the ones who have to clean up there messes

  13. J-Dub on July 13th, 2006 3:25 pm

    Powerbroker, why the animosity towards Christianity?

    But give me real reasons, not “Christians are hypocrites” or anything like that because everyone screws up, Christians and non-Christians alike.

    What exactly has you so negative? I’m curious.

  14. TheChubbyConservative on July 17th, 2006 1:16 pm

    I threw in a couple of extra Novenas for powerbroker this weekend. He may not think he needs them, but the big guy upstairs knows better.

    Unfortunately, this millenium seems to be about bashing Christianity. It makes sense; as we reach the end of times, people will turn there backs on God in favor of tangible things (sex, drugs, money). The devil is definitely getting his last hurrah here on the planet Earth; and there seems to be a lot people perfectly willing to follow him down to hell.

    I’ll pray for your unbelief, powerbroker. I love you.

  15. Gary G on July 17th, 2006 3:31 pm

    Chubby-
    I’m with you. I think what were seeing right now is the beginning of the end – the fulfillment of the prophecy. I have been a big fan of the “Left Behind” book series for a while. I guess things have reached critical mass (gays, abortion, rejection of religion in the public square, etc etc). I’m glad I know where I’m going. Powerbroker – It’s not too late!

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  17. Trae on May 7th, 2010 9:56 pm

    Religion is a multi billion dollar industry (it is an industry, if you argue that you’re a moron) that feeds off of idiots who will believe anything (if you believe virgin birth and ressurection you’ll believe anything).

    For these reasons I don’t even try to talk to ya’ll idiots. IMO Christians are lower on the evolutionary scale than Athiests and I wouldn’t want my DNA mixed with that of a monkey either.

    Why anyone would associate themselves with a cult that has killed millions of people throughout history is beyond me, but I can only assume it is for selfish gain (eternal life).

    Anyway good night i’ve wasted enough time on you simpletons already.

  18. Trae on May 7th, 2010 10:17 pm

    I like this pages design tho, i give it a b-

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